The Testimony of Stephen Kaung — China

[Narrator] You're listening to a podcast by Lance Lambert Ministries. For more information on this ministry, visit lancelambert.org or follow us on social media to receive all of our updates. This is the fourth episode in our season of testimonies from brothers and sisters, some of which were given at Halford House. These testimonies are being shared in preparation for the release of Let the House of God be Built: The Story and Testimony of Halford House. Lance Lambert wrote this book to document the lessons learned in the Lord and the miraculous provision of the Lord to those who met at this house on Halford Road. The audiobook for Let the House of God be Built will be released at the end of April. In this episode, we will hear brother Stephen Kaung share his testimony of how he came to the Lord in China. This testimony was shared at Halford House. Let's listen. [Stephen Kaung] For the sake of some of the young people here, I think I'll be happy to fellowship with you in this matter, but I don't know within such a short time whether I am able to tell you what I feel I should. I was brought up in a Christian family. Of course, I came from a large Chinese family. Four generations living in one house with all the uncles and aunts together. And my father was the first one who came to the Lord. He was sent to a mission school in the very early days when missionaries came and opened up schools. And my grandfather sent my father there to study English because he was in construction business and he had business with Europeans, with foreigners. And there my father was led to the Lord and he suffered greatly because of his faith in the Lord. At that time, it was considered a disgrace to the family if anyone should trust in the Lord. Only the very poorest well became so called "Rice Christians," but certainly not others. So I do thank the Lord that I was born to a Christian family. My father loved the Lord very much. I was brought up, therefore, in such an environment, studied in mission school and attended Sunday school and so on, so forth. And we had family worship every day. My father always gathered us together and he read the Bible and prayed for us. So I was privileged to grow up in such an atmosphere. But I have to say that I had no desire for the Lord when I was young. I never questioned Christian faith. If anyone should ask me at that time if I believe in God, certainly I do, if I believe in Jesus Christ as the Savior of the world, of course I do. I had no question. And yet I had no desire, as a youngster, for the Lord. I remember when we were in, I was in high school, being a mission school, we had to go to church on Sunday. We marched into the church. That building was filled with us and we marched in. But I don't know who had the desire to listen to the preacher. The way that we usually do is we took the large hymn book in our hands and look at it. But inside the hymn book, usually there is a novel or something like that. Just because we are forced to do that. And I, not different from the other youngsters, I did the same thing. There wasn't any desire, no need. Then when I was a junior in high school, I got sick. I was very ill, almost dying. And of course my father prayed for me. And in my desperation, I prayed too because I knew I was not ready to die. I was very afraid to die because I don't know what will happen next. Or may I say, I did know what will happen next. So I wasn't ready for it. I prayed. My father prayed for me. And at that time such kind of disease has no medical aid. It was just a matter of nursing and see whether you could pull through or not. So after several months I gradually recovered. And naturally, being brought up in such a Christian environment. I had a natural desire in my heart. I felt that it was God who healed me and I must show my appreciation of him. It was that desire in me. I must show my appreciation. I must do something for him. So when the school opened, a classmate of mine came to me and said, now, could we start something in our school? A prayer meeting or a Bible study or something? Now, of course, I jump at it. I said that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to show my appreciation of God. So we began to organise a kind of voluntary meetings in school. We asked permission to use the library after supper and before the night class. And we used to knock at doors in the dormitories and urge our friends to come and join us. Both teachers and students began to come. Now, of course, the difficulty was someone had to lead a meeting. So I can still remember that before I was converted I led a prayer meeting. The way I did it, of course, my father has a lot of books and they are good books on prayer and many many incidents of how God answered prayer. So, of course, I just went to my father's study and took a book and read something on prayer. And that night, I can still remember I began to tell these people how God answered prayer and I related incidents after incidents to prove to them that God was a prayer answering God. Now, after that, I asked everybody to kneel down and pray. And the natural thing happened was, after we knelt down, some people began to laugh because it was so strange to them. I don't remember if any of us at that time was really born again. So when some began to laugh, of course, being the chairman of that prayer meeting, I had to scold them. I reprimanded them very severely that it was before God, we shouldn't do such a thing. And I also preached before I was saved, we had [to have] someone to preach to them. So I can still remember the first message I ever gave before I was saved. And not too difficult, I went into my father's study and find a book on sermons. And I translated the whole thing into Chinese and I memorized them. I could still remember the topic, Noah's Ark. And I remember I gave that message to those who were there. And after I delivered the message, I felt quite proud of it. I felt that I had done well, but nobody praised me and it was a disappointment. So this was the way it began. On the one hand, I began to be very zealous in serving God. Yet the strangest thing happened. Before I had any idea of serving God, I always considered myself as better than others. I was not perfect, I knew that, but I always felt that I was better than the rest. In a sense, I was not a bad student. From the teacher down to the workers in the school or my schoolmate classmate, we all were on friendly terms. So I felt that I had no need of a savior. I had no idea of what sin was. But as I began to serve God, a strange feeling came to me. Nobody preached to me. It just came to me. A sense of the sinfulness of my sin. Outwardly, I was much better even than before. And yet, deep down within my conscience, I was weighed low with the sense of my sin. Some time, when I was alone, I cried over my sin. I was a young boy at that time, 15. But the sense of my sin was so great within me, I had no rest. Wherever there was an evangelistic campaign or meeting, I was there. Even during the time of examination, I didn't care. I must be saved. That was one thing I wanted for a whole year. I traveled to this place and to that place. I listened to famous preachers, some world famous. I went up to the front many times, I wept there and I came home and nothing happened. For a whole year it was like this. I read a Bible, very faithfully. I prayed every day. I went to church. I preached. I served God. People look at me and say well, this young man was a good Christian. But I knew I was not saved. In 1930, the summer came and I attended a summer conference with the one desire to be saved. I went there, I lived there and a few days passed and I was still unsaved. I saw people went up to the altar and came out radiant. I admired, but I didn't have such experience. So one morning I remember I was in my room. I couldn't say that I was praying, but I thought I was praying. Somehow, I was talking to God. I said, God, why is it that other people get saved so easily and it's so hard for me? Is it because I know too much? Is it because I preach to others? Is it that I'm gospel hardened? So I tell God now, God, save me this time. If you don't, I don't want you anymore. There's no hope. I'll turn my back. And thank God, that very afternoon he met me. I went to the meeting and the preacher preached on John 3:16, which I know by heart. Very simple preaching. I could do that at that time. And he just emphasized on one word believe. I listened to him. I said, that's right, just believe. That's all you need to do. So when he finished preaching, he asked people to go to the front and knelt there in a prayer. I said, Well, I had been there many times, I didn't need to go anymore. So I just knelt by my seat. A preacher came to me and prayed with me and said, Now won't you go to the front? Well, I said, well, it's alright, I'll go to the front. So I went there. I started to pray. I wept again before the Lord. I really wanted to be saved. But after I finished praying, nothing happened. I look around. Nothing. The meeting was over. As I walked out, a preacher saw me. He came to me and he said, Are you saved? He thought I was saved because I wept. I told him, I hope I will be saved. Everybody was gone. Just that preacher and myself in that hall, empty hall. So he began to talk with me and he said, do you believe the Bible? I said from my childhood. He opened the Bible to I John 1:9 and said, if we confess our sin, God is faithful and righteous. He will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all our unrighteousnesses. And he said, do you believe this word? I said, of course I do. All right, put your name in. Make it personal. If so-and-so confess his sin, God is faithful and righteous. He will forgive so-and-so's sin and cleanse so-and-so's unrighteousness. So he asked me to read it twice, I remember. And he said, Take the word of God and pray. I had prayed many, many times. I knelt down there in simple faith. I said, Lord, I took you. I take you. I confess my sin. I began to tell him what my sins are. And I said, Lord. There are many sins I cannot recall. But you know it. Forgive me. Cleanse me. Save me. I believe in you. The Spirit of God worked that day. Somehow it was done. I do not know how because I prayed many times before. Maybe more earnestly. And yet nothing happened. I was always looking for something to happen. Either I saw a great light from heaven like Paul, then I knew I was saved. If I just believed and nothing happened, how could I know that he had saved me? I was always looking for some evidence. Some proof. But somehow that afternoon, I didn't want any evidence. I felt I just believe him. If he saved me, good. If he not saved me, I'll die in believing him. I don't care. And it happened. As I got up from my knees, I knew God had saved me. So that preacher asked me are you saved? I say that I am saved. He said how do you know you are saved? That's a good question. Well, I said I have such peace in my heart. And that's true. For a whole year I was under a heavy load of my sin. And now I can fly. I have such peace in my heart. I still have it after so many years. He is a wise soul winner. He said, think again. And suddenly it dawned upon me. I said, I know I'm saved because God says so. He said that's right. That's the right thing. And I remember I went back to my room that day, opened up my Bible, and began to read. And it's a new book to me. I love it. And, of course, during those days, I don't know if they are still doing now, they may, usually on the last day of a campaign or a conference will be a day of consecration. The preacher will hammer on this matter of consecration. And by consecration, it means that you must offer yourself to be a pastor or a missionary. So at the close of that conference, the preacher started to hammer upon those audience this matter of consecration. Now you must consecrate yourself, offer your body, and be a pastor, a minister, or a Bible teacher or missionary. You must do that. And of course, I was so touched by the grace and mercy of God, what else can I do? So when the preacher preached on that, of course, I was ready for it. And he had a large map of China at the back of the platform. And he said anyone who wanted, who wants to offer himself to serve the Lord, come up to the platform, point your finger at the place you choose, and there you can go later to serve the Lord. I thought to myself, I must serve. I must go to the farthest place. I must serve in the most difficult situation to prove my love. So I walk up, I point my finger at Mongolia. [laughter] I am serious. I did that in all seriousness. After that day, for a whole year I prepared myself. I tried to get any and every book on Mongolia. I read them. I wanted to know Mongolia. I prayed every day for Mongolia. I set my mind on going to Mongolia. I even was going to study in the North China, so that I could have contact with Mongolians. I felt that I must go there to serve the Lord. Of course, I came home and once again four of us started meetings in our school. And at that time, everything was different because the four of us were all saved people, two teachers and two seniors. I was senior at that time. So we met together and we had prayer meetings, we had Bible study, we invited famous preachers to preach to us. And the Lord began to bless. Many came to the Lord. We went out to the villages to preach and I was on fire for the Lord by his grace. [unintelligible] And I recall many years ago, after I was saved, we did the same thing. We're standing on the streets, pulling people in, sometimes by force. [laughter] Well, that was a very happy year, with good fellowship with the youngsters of my age and others. And I joined myself to many evangelistic activities in my city. When the year was over, I graduated from high school. Of course, I had no desire to go to college, to university. I felt it was just a waste of time. I must prepare myself to serve God. And the only way I knew how to prepare myself was to go to a Bible school. How could you serve God if you do not go to a Bible school or theological seminary? That was the only way I knew. So I pick out my own Bible school, which I considered as the best. And after I had prepare everything, I talked to my father. I thought certainly there would be no problem because my father loved the Lord very much. Actually, he was a Methodist pastor, so I thought there would be no problem. He would be too glad. Or in a sense, even when I was a child, my parents told me that when I was a child, somehow they all thought that I would be a preacher. But when I talked to my father, my father objected. My father said no, you cannot go to the Bible school now. There is no Bible school or theological seminary in China that is good to his standard. He said you go to college, finish your university, and then I'll send you to United States of America to study theology. And of course, at that time and back in the Orient, it was the custom for us to obey our parents no matter what. So I had to obey. It was a great blow to me. Because I had everything planned how to serve God. And now everything was shattered. But I believe God knew what he was doing. He overruled everything. And I could see the wisdom of my father afterwards. So I was sent to another city to study. And when I went to that university, I was so downhearted, I thought it was a waste of four years. How could I waste four years in doing such a thing? I didn't know what to study. I had no interest in studying. So I just pick up anything. And I thought, well, maybe that's good. So I major in something. But my heart was not init. And it was during that period, as I mentioned on Saturday night, that the Lord began to deal with me. In loneliness, in quietness, the Lord began to speak to my heart. I had very little fellowship with other Christians. There was none. Every day I shut myself in my room for hours on my knees, praying, reading the Word. That was my only comfort. And during this first year, the Lord began speak to me. All the outward activities were stopped. Well, not exactly, but there wasn't so much activity outside. But the Lord began to deal with me inwardly. The Lord began to open my eyes, to see things that I would never see if I was left in the environment that I chose myself. I would never see it. Gradually, the Lord began to lead me from one thing to another. Until I could not follow the Lord in the way that I knew before. The Lord has pushed me out to a new and unconventional way of following the Lord. I will not go into details, but during the last two years, in my college years, a few of us began to meet in the simplicity of Christ, the Lord began to bless us. Many young people were added. We grew from 7 to over 90 people. We rent a place and we have many meetings. And somehow the responsibility, the major part of the responsibility fell on me. I could still remember that I usually was the first to arrive, to open the door, to prepare the chairs, to greet the people, to lead the scene, to start the meeting, to do the preaching, to send them off, to close the door. During the last two years of my college years, I was so busy with the Lord's work. Aside from attending classes, I spent most of my time outside doing visiting and preparing for meetings and so forth. And of course, my mother got worried. She thought that I could never pass. But the Lord was gracious to me. I do thank the Lord. It was during these two years that we suffered much from the hand of the Christian world. You we were just a small group of people, mostly young ones and yet it roused such an adverse interest in the Christian world of that city that all the Christian groups, denominations, schools and so forth they held three days meeting to discuss us. My father, of course, was the target. He was well known. He was actually the chairman of the board of trustee of that university. And he was there it he became the target. They said, you have such a son. But my father was very wise. He answered with the words of Gamaliel, if it is of the Lord, don't touch it. You will be touching the Lord. If it's of man, it will disappear. He suffered a lot for me but when he came home, he never said a word. He told me he trusted me. Of course indirectly he tried to find out whom I was with but he trusted me. He said I believe you are following the Lord. He trusted me completely. He gave me complete freedom. So for these two years we went through a great deal and I have to thank the Lord that these were two very precious years. I lived literally in prayers. And in 1935 of course, I graduated. Before I graduated, I had to face my future. I knew in my heart that I must serve. But at that time I drew back for two reasons. One was I felt that I was not equipped. I read my Bible, yes, but I had never been to a Bible school. I didn't know the word of God enough. I needed time to study the Bible, to be equipped before I can step out. And the second reason is was my love for that local company was so great that I couldn't leave them. I felt that I must be with them for another year at least. You know, there were not many brothers in that local company, mostly sisters. So I decided before God that at least I needed another year. I tried to find employment in that city, but of course I won't be able to find any employment in the Christian circle because there was a decision that none who came to our meeting will be employed by them, and some were literally kicked out. And some students had to sign not to come to us if they wanted to continue to study. But it was during that time when the school was over, brother Nee in Shanghai, and brother Lee, which some of you know, whom some of you know, they felt that I should join them in the work of God. So Brother Lee took the train and came down to see me. He said you must come to Shanghai. We feel that you should join us. And he was going back to the North China, and Brother Nee was not very, not healthy. So they wanted me to go immediately. He argued with me, and he said, I will not go. I will not leave until you promise to come. So I said, all right, I promise. I promise to come to Shanghai. But I don't promise you how long I will stay there. I kept my promise. I went to Shanghai and after a week I was back. It was during that time one incident happened. A young brother, of course, I was young then too. But a young brother just graduated from junior high, whom I loved very much because there was only a few brothers, and if there are a few, they are more precious. I loved that young brother very much. After school he went out with a few schoolmates to swim in the river and he was drowned. His parents were not in that city, so they notified me and I had to prepare for his funeral until his parents arrived. And after I had sent his body to the cemetery, I came home and for a whole night I couldn't sleep. I argued with God. I said, Lord, you know we have only a few brothers. How can you take away one and especially one so young? It didn't look right to me. I argued the whole night. I couldn't sleep. And the next morning I shut myself in a room, continuing my argument with God. I just couldn't accept that fact. I was asking God why? Why? Why did you do that? Why did you allow such a thing to happen? It shouldn't happen. And as I was kneeling there, praying and arguing, suddenly the Lord began to speak to me. The Lord said, do you want to serve me? I said, yes, but not for another year. After another year. The Lord said, do you see that young brother? He didn't have another year. He was gone. He died for you. I began to see it. I said, Lord, if this is what thou, you want to speak to me, all right, I'll go. So I sought out my father. It happened that my father was the only one in the house. So I told him what had happened. And my father said, son, I knew all the time that the Lord has called you. We knelt down together. He committed me to the Lord. He said, I do not care if you do not go my way, so long as you serve God, I'm happy. So he committed me to the Lord. And a few days later, I left. And that was the way that I began to join our brothers in the ministry. [Music] May you be obedient to the Lord even in costly things. May you know the deep, deep love of Jesus.